As I was reading this book called Desire by John Eldredge the Lord opened my eyes to something radical! The message that Jesus preaches was never for people who are content with where they’re at. Every single person that was content (um… ahem the Pharisees) with their lives rejected his message but everyone that was weary, hungry, and thirsty for more listened and were saved. So I guess it’s a good thing that I never seem to be content. I always thought this was a bad thing… like I wasn’t content with what the Lord has already given me or I wasn’t feeling blessed with what I have received in my life. That’s not true though, I am very satisfied and joyful in the Lord. I just have this discontent feeling, a longing for more because I was created to always long for more of Him.
So as long as I am away from my Papa, the Creator of the Universe by my own sin I will feel discontent. Until the day that I breath my last breath and enter into eternity I will always long for something (His heart) that I can’t fully grasp quite yet.
Don’t get me wrong- Jesus’ grace does in fact cover me and I am blessed in that I have the Holy Spirit inside me. I am saved by this grace and can directly communicate with the Father. However, considering that I do have to deal with this sinful nature of mine, until the day I die there will always be something hindering me from directly seeing the face of God. The face that I so long to see and stare at. Right now I have the privilege of catching glimpses here and there… one day I see a reflection in His eyes, another day I touch a beautiful speck of wisdom wrapped in one of His precious wrinkles. I am blessed and SO thankful for the what the cross has given me on this earth, but I am MORE excited and long for what it will allow me to do at the very end of my life- enter into eternity in the presence of the Father.