I feel dry.
This is what happens when I put other things before the Lord. Why do I do this? Where I’m at in my life I am SO bad a prioritizing! I am always talking with the Lord- always involved in verbal and nonverbal communication with Him, but that’s not enough. I am still struggling with being in His word. The enemy LOVES this; he uses it to attack me in so many ways! When I’m not in His word I lack wisdom. When I’m not in His word I lack armor. When I’m not in His word I lack the ability to break, in the name of Jesus Christ, the lies whispered into my ear. I lack a heck of a lot when I’m not in the Word.
I go through spurts.
When I’m fasting or when I have a whole day to myself I have no trouble whatsoever getting this done- because no prioritizing is required. If I’m fasting I’m so tired and needy that I’m in the Word nonstop and if I have the day to myself I just do it whenever I feel like it.
I need a schedule.
I hate saying that though. It sounds too… I don’t know, it sounds too… organized (try to picture me saying that slowly and with a sort of disgusted tone). When someone asks what my plans are for the weekend or what I’m doing that day I always respond with something like “eh, I don’t know… I’m more like a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl.” I don’t think this is such a bad thing really… I think it’s just a part of my personality and God gave me this personality. I think the problems come in because I am so relaxed and laid back about things that I get lazy. I mean SERIOUSLY!?!? you should look at my car right now… HA! It’s kind of ridiculous. Oh, and my room is insanely messy too. I feel like I “don’t have time” but that’s such a big fat lie… because I DO have time!
So I’m at this place where I need to find a good middle ground. I still like the idea of being flexible and not feeling tied down, but I need some sort of framework to work work with. I need to have a schedule so that I don’t let such important things (like spending time with my Bible) slip through my hands by the end of the day.
It’s time to become more proactive and be crazy about reading the Word.