Here comes the sun, do do do do
Here comes the sun, I say
It’s all right.
Such simple lyrics- such a simple song, yet so powerful and soothing. Whenever I feel down I play this song and even when I feel like frowning, a smile finds its way to my face. Last year was good and rough… it seems like a good song to start off this new year. Here comes the sun. Warmth and comfort, along with some sun burn, will come with this new year. I don’t want to pretend that things will be good and perfect all the time, or even at all; I don’t want to pretend that I even want that. It seems weird but I like suffering, (not generally while it’s occurring but) I like what it does for the soul. I never grow when everything is going right. My character is never tested and stretched when life seems to be going ever so perfectly. So I fully anticipate that this new year will be wonderful; I fully anticipate challenging times of suffering in the valley that will inevitably be followed by times of blissful happiness at the top of the mountain.
I don’t know what I want to do with this year and I think that’s okay. I’m starting to become more aware of how important planning is even though I have a tendency to laugh whenever someone tells me I should have an outline or a plan for the next few years. I can hardly hold back a chuckle when someone tells me I should make a list…. buah! It just seems really corny and unnecessary to me. But it’s not… okay I’m working on it guys. I’m starting to make lists of things I want to do/might want to do and lists of the positive and negatives of each thing on the “this is what I might want to do” list. I’m getting there. You know what, it’s actually HELPING! I know that the Lord has plans for me but I am a full believer that He lets us make choices relating to what we want to do as far as a career goes.
So… I know a lot of people are like “whattTTt, no way!” So while your bible belts start busting let me explain myself. Breaking it down to the basics. Love. It’s a choice right? He didn’t make us robot worshipers now did He? Nope, He (as I’ve heard it put before) dared to give us a choice- He dared to place the forbidden tree in the garden and give them a choice. Once we make the choice to love and obey Him, staying away from this tree, we still have tons of freedom. There are specific demands He requires we follow such as love the Lord with all our heart and mind and to depend on HIM versus leaning on ourselves. He tells us we must love others and we must love ourselves. He says we can’t murder and breaking it down even further, Jesus says we cannot hate. There are several commandments such as these but God never says child, you must pursue a career in the medical field and you must heal the entire suffering nation of _______. I believe that there are specific requirements He has of us but as far as the decisions that dictate much of our attention, He pays little attention. We let the stress of making decisions on which career we want to pursue, which spouse we want to marry, how many kids we want, and such take over our minds. God does care about these things… He helps us out because He knows that there are so many choices in today’s world. But His focus is much different from our focus.
So… back to love. He gives us many commandments, but none regarding the subject of a specific career, hobby, or spouse. I believe He knows us so well that He knows what we’re going to choose before we even do. I believe that He helps us when we need help. But I also believe that He knows what we can and can’t handle. He’ll help guide me along the way but He knows that I can handle a lot more than I think I can handle. There is always going to be that one person that the Lord comes to in a vision and says “you will start this ministry and do this for me.” I’m not trying to say that the Lord doesn’t work this way, I’m just saying that nine times out of ten (or so) He does not place such limited restrictions on us. As long as we’re loving Him, loving others, and following all His commandments then He will use us where we’re at.
So this is where I’m at right now. I’m making the lists, I’m trying to decide. I would love for the Father to just give me something specific to chase after but I know He won’t. He’s told me a ton of times that He wants me to choose. It gets even more frustrating for me because He hasn’t placed any restrictions on me at all. He’s said if I want to go back into YWAM, go into some foreign country and do missions there, or just stay here in Cali and see how it goes it doesn’t matter because He’ll use me whatever I choose.
This is freeing and intimidating at the same time. But in the name of Jesus Christ I break the stress, confusion, and fear right now. None of these feelings are from my good, loving Father and none will dictate my current situation or the decision(s) I will make.